Meltdown Was Our Fault

– Turn around. (Abby moaning) – Cilla, can we talk about earlier? – [Priscilla] Yeah. – Yeah, we didn’t talk
about our screw up here, our big screw up. – Yeah, is that. (door closing) (Abby vocalizing) (Dad vocalizing) – [Priscilla] (laughs)
Your Dad’s so funny. (Abby vocalizing) (Dad vocalizing) – [Priscilla] (laughs)
I feel like she’s trying to get louder. (girl yelling) (Abby vocalizing) (Dad vocalizing) She looks annoyed. – [Dad] You having fun? – So much fun. (Abby vocalizing) That’s a cute (mumbles). That’s a cute one, do that one. (Abby vocalizing) – If I said that we didn’t sigh when you got out of the
car, Abby, I’d be lying. Just saying. Ready? (Abby laughing) What’s so funny? You’re so funny. Come on. Like unbuckling an astronaut. Put your shoes on. – [Priscilla] Love you. – [Dad] Aw, did you get kisses? – [Priscilla] I did. – [Dad] Say hi, say hi. (Abby vocalizing) – [Woman In Green Shirt] Good morning, good morning, good morning! How are we all doing this morning? – [Dad] Good, how are you? – [Woman In Green Shirt] All right lady. It’s all good, right? – [Dad] She’s having a good morning. – Good, come on. – See you later. What’s up guys? Welcome to the vlog. It is a new week.
– Look at my crazy hair. – Huh? – I have crazy hair going on. – You do, that’s an interesting top bun, top knot thing. – It is, very top. – Was that a decision? – Well, I was hot, so I was sweating to death, so I was like, “I just gotta
get it out of my face.” And my polish keeps
getting stuck, my nails, on my hair and so I was just done with it. – [Dad] It’s very Dr.
Seuss of you, Cindy Lou. – Shut up, shut up. – Okay, let’s get this day going. – Okay, fixed it.
– That’s it? That’s how you’re goin’? – No, (mumbles). Old man’s staring at me. – He is interested in what we’re doing. (laughing) It’s time. The butterflies must go. – They must. – Goodbye butterflies. (hammer pounding) Babe. – What? – [Dad] Your hair, it looks
much better than hers. – [Priscilla] Oh, well thanks. – [Dad] Yeah. – [Witch] Is this a mask? (witch laughing) – Look at this guy. – [Dad] Priscilla loves
Halloween but she also hates it. – I do. I don’t like scary anything. – [Dad] I cannot wait to
scare the neighborhood kids in our new house. – Oh my gosh, that’s so mean. – Yeah, it is, I know, but it’s fun. (wolf growling) That was neat.
– Yeah. – The guy at the register, Bill, Mr. Bill, I said are you– – Banana. – We’re not driving, it doesn’t count. I said, “Were you a Marine, Bill?” He said, “I was, how did you know?” I said, “The crease in your hat, sir. “That gives away a jarhead every time.” He said, “Yep, I was in Gitmo in 1961.” I was like, “No way.” That’s where Priscilla
and I met was in Gitmo. – Yeah, if you guys don’t know that, that’s where we met. – You should watch the story of us. It’s a good video. – Yeah, go ahead and link it. – You want me to put it up there? I’ll do that. I just got a notification
on the driveway camera. I never get notifications
on the driveway camera, like unless someone’s in our driveway or we’re pulling into our driveway or we’re around the cars in our driveway. There’s a dinosaur in our driveway. It’s your lizard friend. Your lizard friend has come back (laughs). Wait for me, wait for me,
wait for me, I’m coming. I don’t want to stay here. (door shutting) (gate opening) She’s gone. She’s back! (door opening) I wanna go. – Okay, well you better come on. We got time schedules (claps). Let’s go (laughs). – [Dad] I gotta water the grass. – Yeah. – It’s rained so much lately that I didn’t even think
about it ’cause, you know? – [Priscilla] Yeah. – And it didn’t rain for a couple days. – [Priscilla] Hi. – [Woman In Green Shirt]
Hi, how are y’all doing? – [Priscilla] Good, how are you? – [Woman In Green Shirt] I’m good. – [Priscilla] How are you, Miss Priss? – [Dad] Did we have a good day? – [Woman In Green Shirt]
She had a good day today. – [Priscilla] Good. – She had a good day. She did bite herself one time today. – [Priscilla] Okay. (Abby grunting) – And so I did note that in there, but otherwise than that, we didn’t have any elopement–
– Okay good. – Or anything like that today. Let’s get you in.
– Hey Ab. – [Dad] No more aggression? – Nope, not today. – [Both] Good. – And I forgot to talk to
you about the (mumbles) little packets we want to do with you. – [Priscilla] Yeah. – Yes, so I forgot to talk
to you about that at home. – [Priscilla] It’s okay. – [Woman In Green Shirt]
So whenever you’re ready, I’m ready. – Okay, well I’m gonna
put it out there then for everybody to start sending us stuff. – [Woman In Green Shirt] Okay. – All right? – [Woman In Green Shirt]
See you, see you tomorrow. High five there.
– Bye. Thank you.
– All right, y’all. Have a good one. (car beeping) – All right, y’all heard (laughs). A couple of people have actually already
sent Amazon gift cards– – Right.
– Which works out perfect if you don’t want to pay shipping or– – We would actually recommend that because then I don’t want to end up getting 4,000 pairs of
socks and no toothpaste. Or whatever. – Right, right. – So Amazon gift cards, Target, Walmart. – Dollar Tree.
– Dollar General. – And Dollar, yep. – And Dollar Tree. (Abby vocalizing) – So if a gift card’s easier for you, then that’s fine. And then that way we can go out and we’ll show you the whole process of how I go out and I buy stuff, and I’ve never done it
on this big of a scale. I mean, it’s always just
been my own personal– – If you want to send an e-gift card, you can send it to
[email protected] And I will put all that
information down below. You can absolutely do that. Please only send e-gift
cards to that email address. I don’t want to have to wade
through all the other emails just to find those
people that are donating. So and every bit of the gift cards is gonna go towards
this Gives Back Program. – Right. And if you don’t know
what we’re talking about, Abby’s school is gonna help. I do (mumbles) Cares where
I go and I buy things every, typically twice a month I do it. And I buy things like
toothpaste, toothbrushes, socks, water, crackers, all different kinds of things. I make up a little bag and I go downtown and I hand it out to the homeless. And I don’t go to shelters or anything. I go to where people don’t typically go. – [Dad] Feminine hygiene
products, all that stuff, yeah. – Yeah. So it’s something that I’ve wanted to do. – I’m sorry. Banana. – I was gonna do it and I was like, “It’s not the right time.” Well, some of us have morals. – [Dad] Is it ever not the right? (laughing) – I was like, “I’m in this
moment, I’m not gonna say it.” Dang it, I let the morals get me again. – Nice gals finish last. – But yeah, it’s just something that, I don’t know. I am so fortunate in my life and we’ve been given
so many opportunities, so this is my way to give back to people who are less fortunate. – Right and Priscilla just has such a heart for the homeless. I mean, it’s something that
weighs on her all the time. – It does. I drive through there all time. I want to bring everybody home with me. – She wants to stop whatever we’re doing and go get something for them. – I do. – [Dad] She just wants to
put a smile on people’s face and make their live maybe just, you know, just a little
bit easier that day. – And they’re so thankful. They’re not rude about anything. I’ve never had a negative
issue with anybody. So anyway, we’re gonna collect items. Abby’s class is going to
work on stuffing bags, and then I will go down and hand them out. – Right, so you’re
contributing to the homeless. (Abby vocalizing) And then you’re also contributing to life skills type of work
for Abby and her classmates. So it’s a– – [Priscilla] Hold on, Abby, hold on. – Ab, kiddo. – Yeah, so they’ll set it up as an assembly line type thing. And they’re gonna help and
they’re gonna do contributions. Their big thing was
everybody keeps donating and volunteering for our school. Why can’t we give back? – Right, so then also
make sure that you share that you’re part of this
with the #mossquadcares. ‘Kay, post it on social media somewhere. Let’s get this going. It’s gonna be awesome. – I know, I’m excited. – How exciting is that
that you got hooked up with a larger scale project–
– Right? – Than what you had already started? – And I don’t only do this. Like sometimes we’ll do
the traditional, you know, where we’ll buy somebody’s groceries. Or we’ll go out to dinner and we’ll buy somebody’s dinner for them. You know? Just anything I think to, it doesn’t even have
to be monetary I guess. – It doesn’t have to
be what somebody needs. – [Priscilla] No. – It’s just to put a smile
on somebody else’s face. Chances are if you’re out
at Longhorn Steakhouse and you’re buying dinner, you
can afford to buy that dinner. That has nothing to do with it. It’s just putting a
smile on somebody’s face and showing ’em that despite
what you see on the news, the world isn’t a terrible place. – Yeah, yep. – [Dad] Are you ready? Are you ready to rock
on the backpack routine? ‘Kay. – [Priscilla] You’re a
little amped up today. – [Dad] Yeah, we’re a little wild. – Watch her. (Abby grunting) – [Dad] What you doin’? There’s nothing in that, sweet girl. She’s like I know that logo. – [Priscilla] Oh, I know that logo. – [Dad] Put your backpack on (mumbles). There you go. (Abby vocalizing) (door closing) Uh uh. Pick it up. – [Priscilla] Grab her stuff. – [Dad] ‘Member? We didn’t do it enough days for it to become something she’d
remember over the weekend. (Abby vocalizing) Put that right there. There you go. And what else is in here? Let’s open it up, open it. What else do you need to get out of there? Good job. These can stay. (Abby moaning) Put those back in. (Abby yelling) Hands waiting. Hands waiting. Take a deep breath, deep breath. Look. Deep breath. (Abby moaning) Hands waiting. There’s better ways to deal
with those feelings, okay? Deep breath. Look at me, ready? (heavy breathing) You do it, you do it. – [Priscilla] There you go. – [Dad] Good job. – [Both] Okay. – [Priscilla] Hey. (Abby yelling) Stop. (Abby breathing) Hands waiting. Take a deep breath. You’re head. Abby, clap your hands. (Abby clapping) Can you stand up? Stand up. Abs, stand up. Listen, hands waiting. Hey, pick up one leg. Pick up one leg. – [Dad] Good job. – Do a spin. Ab, do a spin. (Abby moaning) Hey, do a spin. (Abby yelling) Turn around, turn around. Turn around. – [Dad] Spin. – Spin. – [Dad] Spin, spin. – [Priscilla] Nice job, hey (claps). – [Dad] Do you think
that we should start over with maximum prompting, because we did minimal
prompting and that didn’t work? – Can we try again tomorrow and not, I don’t want to make this happen again. I would rather just get through this part. (Abby moaning) And then try again from scratch tomorrow. – [Dad] I’m just (mumbles) behavior and we’re so close to being done that I don’t want to
reinforce the behavior by it being done. You know what I mean? – Yeah. – [Dad] Maybe if we do it
and have her mirror us, you know what I’m saying? – [Priscilla] ‘Kay. – [Dad] Like we really
help her a lot with it. What are your thoughts? – I just I hate doing this. – [Dad] I know, but it’s gotta be, I mean, she’s gotta have
things that she does. (Abby moaning) ‘Kay, you need to relax. I need you at hands waiting, okay? All right, you ready? All right, throw this on. Okay. Listen, we’re gonna do a good job, okay? Hey, we’re here for ya. – Ready? Yep, we’re gonna have a snack as soon as we get done with this, okay? – Good job. Put it up there. – [Priscilla] You’re smiling. – Good job. Let’s push that out of our way. There we go. Folder. iPad. Cup. Zipper. (zipper zipping) Zipper. Backpack. Open, two hands. Hang it up. Shut the door. (door shutting) Take our stuff and our cup. Can you carry all that? Look at you. – [Priscilla] Good job. – And go upstairs. (mumbles) Huh? – [Priscilla] Shoot. – [Dad] Oh, it’s okay. You know it’s almost a
separate part so it’s okay. (object falling) – [Priscilla] Whoops. – [Dad] That’s all right. It was an accident. Go ahead, put it up there on the counter. – [Priscilla] Watch the D-R-I-N-K. – [Dad] ‘Kay, can you go back
and get your iPad right there? See your iPad? – Nice job, Ab. – [Dad] Good job. Put your iPad up here. All right. Now listen, did you want a snack or do you want to take a break? Which one? – [Priscilla] She’s gonna tell us. (Abby vocalizing) – [Dad] What do you want? – [Voice On iPad] Cookie. – [Dad] Okay, good job. – I don’t think we have a cookie. – [Dad] You don’t think
we have any cookies? – We have cookie dough. (laughing) – [Voice on iPad] Cereal. – [Dad] Okay, we can do cereal. – That’s a nice. – [Dad] Good job making choices. – Hey, can you go to the
bathroom while I get your cereal? Can you do that please? – [Dad] Hey listen, listen. Go potty, I’ll get cereal, okay? (Abby moaning) Go ahead, go potty, we’ll get cereal. Yep, let’s do that, come on. – We’re gonna get your cereal, okay? Dad’ll get it and I’ll go in with you. Come on. Come on, you can do this. Come on. (Abby moaning) Nice job, Ab, look. I’m right here. (Abby moaning) – [Dad] Do you wanna pick it out? I’ll let her pick it out and, go ahead, get your cereal. Remember, cereal’s what we’re gettin’. (mumbles) Hot buffalo, yeah,
you keep picking those. Oh, you want one of those? Okay. (Abby moaning) – [Priscilla] And those. – [Dad] And these. You want, does she eat those? – [Priscilla] I think so. – [Dad] Okay. Hey, hey listen. (Abby moaning) Calm down. You want these? (Abby moaning) Okay, put those back then. All right, come on. Go potty and I’ll get this set up. Go ahead. (Abby moaning) Good job, kiddo. – [Priscilla] You didn’t
just throw that box away and not pick the box up though, right? – [Dad] Good job, Abby. ‘Kay, here’s your snack, come on. (Abby vocalizing) You okay? Good? ‘Kay. We’re gonna go talk
about how we fell short, so that others can hopefully
learn from our mistakes. – [Priscilla] Right? – [Dad] Ab, bye, I love you. Have fun with Nanny. Bye. All right, this is weird. – ‘Kay. What are we doing? – [Dad] We’re dropping packages off. – To the gas station guy? – [Dad] Yeah, in the
corner of this gas station. – Really? – [Dad] Yeah. They don’t have gas,
they don’t even sell gas. It’s just a food mart. – Oh, it’s just a convenient store. – [Dad] Yeah. – [Priscilla] We can
change our PO box to here. – [Dad] Yeah. – [Priscilla] That would be cool. – [Dad] So it’s just the– – [Priscilla] It’s closed. – [Dad] Yeah, but you can
drop packages off he said. – [Priscilla] Oh. – [Dad] But there’s nobody here. – [Priscilla] Where do
you drop ’em off at? – [Dad] I don’t know. I mean there’s packages right there. Can we just drop ’em off anywhere? – [Priscilla] They do not
accept debit or credit cards. – [Dad] What? How do you pay, cash? (door beeping) Hey boss, do I just
leave these back there? I mean, they’re already
postmarked and all that. I just– (mumbles) No, no. It’s all individual packages. – [Convenient Store
Worker] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Actually (mumbles) picked it up so. – [Dad] Okay, yeah,
all that and all these. They’re all ready to go. – [Convenient Store Worker] All right. – Thank you.
– Thanks. – [Priscilla] What time are they open? – [Dad] He said four. Nine to four. (door beeping) It’s a post office in the
middle of a food mart. You can get your Pringles and your mayo. Okay, hopefully your merch gets to you. (car beeping) – (laughs) I have tracking
numbers for everything so, that’s the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen. – Yeah? It’s convenient, it’s right down the
road from the house, so. – Yeah, like we could ride the scooters. – Yeah, ride scooters
down here and drop it off. (car beeping) We decided we needed some we time. – We time, us time, yeah. – Us time. – Yep. – Right? – Yep, we do. – We’re gonna go have some us time. Be back at ya in a minute. (mouth blowing) – [Priscilla] You get all the holidays. – Are you blowing raspberries? – [Man In Paxon Athletic T-Shirt] Huh? – Are you blowing raspberries? – [Priscilla] Yeah. – [Man In Paxon Athletic
T-Shirt] I’m blowing her cheek. – Oh, family’s so weird. – [Priscilla] You’ll get all the holidays. – Hey, Cilla, can we talk about earlier? – [Priscilla] Yeah. – Can you scoot your chair over here? (Abby vocalizing) – [Priscilla] I’m giving Maverick hugs. It’s National Dog Day. – He’s not recording. – Yes, I am. – [Priscilla] I’m coming. – Oh, hey guys. (Abby vocalizing) – [Priscilla] Coming. – I’ll go. – He says, “He’s not recording.” – I’m here. – So I want to talk about, let
me take these off, earlier. You know, I don’t know
what I showed exactly because I don’t know what I got, ’cause we’re kind of, you’re always tipping over. You know? Hang on, hang on. Oh my goodness, we’re
just, we’re so crooked. – Happy National Dog Day. – Okay. I don’t know what I recorded. Anyway, in the moment, trying to help Abby through the hard times and whatnot and we kinda had a
conversation afterwards, right? – Yeah. – Which we should’ve had before, but we didn’t really have
the opportunity to do, because we didn’t agree with each other on the method of delivery for that. It’s like start over
or just get through it and get done and like– – And I know with therapy, if Brandy were here, she would’ve had her start over. I just felt like I didn’t want
to put her through it again, but she did amazing when we did it over. – Well, I’ve never done that before. I’ve never had her start over.
– Right. – And I don’t know why I thought of that. It wasn’t like I just,
I was like we just– – Well, that’s what they
have her do with Brandy. So Brandy– – Maybe I was pulling that
from memory or something then. – Right, because if she does something, if she’s doing a task and
she’s freaking out about it, (Abby vocalizing) Brandy makes her start from the beginning. – Right. – But I’m the pushover. I’m like (mumbles). – Well, yeah, and you’re parents. And you kind of, you know? Sometimes you just want to get through it and get on with your
day and stuff like that. But I am so happy that she’s successful when we did start over, ’cause that made me, I gotta come up with a better set up here. That made me feel better
that it didn’t get worse. I’da felt really bad if
it got worse somehow. – But one of the things that we should’ve tried to figure out, which I don’t know why we
didn’t think about it– – Yeah, we didn’t talk
about our screw up here. Our big screw up. – Yeah, is that we’re putting
too many demands on her at one time. And the fact that it’s all new. It’s not just as simple as, oh, Abby take your backpack
and put it in the closet. That’s not, it’s a new
house, a new closet, walking up–
– New backpack. – Walking up to the house is different. – Yeah, the lunch bag looks different. – Right. – It’s got a gazillion zippers. – Right and now like before, she would stand in the kitchen and she would unload everything. And then she would take her backpack. And it’s just different. – Yeah. – And you have to think
about those things, and so I think we failed her
with not breaking it down. Maybe saying, just
getting her to have 100% on getting the backpack on the counter. – Yep. – Or at least two steps, you know? – Yeah. – But now we’re into it, so do we just, so do we
go back and start over? – Yes. – You think so? – I think so because she has a foundation of what the end result should be. (Abby vocalizing) So I think we go back and we
break it down step by step. So that’s why you guys
saw we didn’t even bother with the shoes. She just took them off in the kitchen because that is like,
yes, it’s part of it, but it’s also a whole separate thing. – Right. – So we’ll cross that bridge later on. So we need to go down and break
it down step by step for her and build upon this. – Yeah. So should we wait for
Brandy to come on Wednesday and maybe ask her opinion? Her expertise? I mean that’s what we have her for. – Yeah. – So and that’s something. If you guys are ever having an issue and you have therapists,
whether they’re home or at school. Like I asked Abby’s
school to help work with getting her to keep her
regular hair tie in here hair. So if you’re ever having issues of, not even issues. If you just don’t know if your child needs help with something,
ask their therapist. That’s what they’re there for. – Yeah. – They don’t want to do the
same things over and over. If your kid’s mastered something, a goal in their treatment plan, then add something else in. Like we’re constantly
adding new things in. – And two heads are better than one. I was gonna sit down and do
this little talk actually by myself and I was like, “No, no, no, I want Priscilla in on this “because two heads are
always better than one.” If you don’t have services, get somebody else that is experienced in behavioral modification,
that kind of thing, to help you out with just ideas and seeing what you’re dealing with. (Abby vocalizing) I mean, we’re pretty good at it. Like the whole, we’ll increase prompts, so we’ll start over at the very beginning with 100% prompting. You know, verbal,
physical, hand over hand. And that’s what we went back to so that she would be successful ’cause that’s the most important thing. – Right and that’s the goal
is that they’re successful. And even doing discrete trials. So not just making it in the moment of walking in from school. We can work on these
things outside of her just, like Brandy, you’ll see her now I bet you, she’ll add it to her
routine to practice it other than just coming home from school. Because then you might have a better, her big thing is transitions, (Abby vocalizing) and that’s what’s really hard for her. So if we take that aspect of it out, a lot of times she’s very successful, and then you can introduce it
into her natural environment. – Right. And then things we don’t even
think about in the moment, but I just now thought of this. Her two backpacks. She has two different backpacks on two different hooks in there. Putting a picture of each
backpack above that hook, you know, because success
is the most important thing. No matter at what level. Success is variable. It depends on the person. If success is that she
completes all the task with hand over hand
prompting, that’s success. If it’s success because
she does it all by herself with no prompting when
we’re not even in the room, that’s also success. So it’s definitely a variable
depending on the skill level and the abilities of the
child or the person so. – Right. (Abby vocalizing) – We just need to change it up ’cause obviously we don’t
want her to have a meltdown every single afternoon. – Right, she just can’t–
– Over– – I think she’s getting frustrated ’cause it’s not because
she doesn’t want to do it. – I don’t think it’s– – It’s because she gets
frustrated ’cause she can’t. She keeps getting corrected
on every part of it and I think that was frustrating her. I actually saw a comment that said, “You call this progress?” And I know there’s haters and that’s fine. But it did make me think ’cause they said, “You call this progress? “She threw a tantrum just for
putting her backpack away.” And it’s like, you have to realize, success is, it’s definitely variable. – It’s such progress, guys. Yeah. – The fact that we got as far
as we did into the process before she had any outbursts
from frustration and anger was a success, you know? – Yeah. – And it ended so well. – Always be grateful for where
you’re at in life because– – For sure. – Yeah. Abby, it’s tough. It’s tough day to day for her. – Yeah.
– You know? – We don’t normally sit
down and do these speeches, but I just, you know, I wanted to share because I want people to be
able to take away from this. And to be able to learn
and then to understand. And understand the struggles
that other people go through. You never know what other
people are going through. Sometimes solutions seem simple because we think the way we think. We don’t think the way that she thinks. – Right. – So we’re like, “Just
put your backpack in here. “Just put your thing here.” But when you think the
way that she thinks, compare it to putting the
dishes away the other day that Brandy figured out with like, it’s backwards for her so she can’t do it. She has to retrain her brain. So I don’t know, just food
for thought for you guys. Maybe some help for you
parents that are struggling. If I had to give any advice from someone who’s not an ABA therapist, even though we have been
through a lot of therapy, is break it down. You know, if they’re
struggling with something, break it down, smaller steps. Discrete trial training. Make small successes and
that’s the absolute key like Priscilla said is successful. – Yep. – ‘Kay, that’s it.
– ‘Kay. – Preaching over. Happy National Dog Day Maverick. (Abby moaning) Oh, are you gettin’ the scratches
and the pets and the rubs? – [Priscilla] Yes. – [Dad] Hey, you’re my
hero, you know that? I know things are hard sometimes, but you’re awesome and you smile. You’re always smiling. Oh, that’s a good movie, Ab. Say bye. Say thanks for watching. (Abby moaning) You wanna close it out? Your days are numbered, butterflies. Your days are numbered.


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