Men | ContraPoints

(eerie music) – Hi boys, it’s me again,
just your average girl. Look I may be a biological female, but I do hope that just for this video, we’re able to converse as men. I want you to think back to 2016 which I know in internet years is like halfway between now
and the decline of Rome. Do you like history, boys? How did Rome fall again? Was it the gays? Tell me all about it. Back in 2016 the big internet culture war was between feminists on one side and men’s rights activists on the other. What ever happened to that? These days it’s as dead a
meme as I don’t know, Harambe. I did want to do the fedora though. Every YouTuber who’s ever covered the men’s rights movement
has done the fedora and I wanted to put my
own little twist on it. My wardrobe notes for this
video say MRA femme fatale and fedora but make it fashion. School shooter realness. I feel like I’m also serving a little red-pilled Carmen Sandiego? In this video I wanna
ask, in all seriousness, what are we going to do about men? Because, no offense, but, as a group, you guys kind of seem like
you’re not doing okay. Could a group of people who are purchasing uncucked alpha yogurt
possibly be subsisting in a state of psychological balance? Fellas, are regular bowel movements gay? I guess yeah, kind of. You don’t see a whole lot of psyllium husk in heterosexual medicine cabinets. I’m losing my target audience here. Listen my dudes, let’s just say I’m kinda worried about you guys. And I’m not saying I’m any better. To be clear, I’m not okay either. There’s like 15 jars of urine
in my refrigerator right now. Yeah, that’s right. Women pee too, okay? Get over it. I’m so sorry if this
offends your male notions of feminine delicacy, but I
for one will not be shamed by your patriarchal bullshit. [dramatic music] You boys, you’re very
rational, aren’t you? I suppose I was too. I admit that these days rationality, it’s something I struggle with, both as a biological female
and as a Pisces moon. But when I decided I wanted to make a video for men,
ContraPoints For Him I started brushing up on
my reasoning skills because I wanna be so f*cking rational for you. So to prepare for this video I read Newton’s Principia Mathematica, Wittgenstein’s Tractatus
Logico-Philosophicus, and of course the philosophical classic, The Rational Male by Rollo Caliente. So my mind is
well-lubricated and I’m ready for what I have no doubt will be a penetrating intellectual interchange. Look, I wanna play by your rules, okay? So there will be no
emotions in this video. I will present my arguments
in strict logical form, relying only on facts, reason, evidence, and deductive proof. (Grindr notification) (typing) (Grindr notification) (Grindr notification) (typing) (Grindr notification) Actually, you know what? F*ck that. Let’s listen to house
music and do sex drugs! (upbeat music) I’m pandering to the male gaze! Oh, and the male straights. God I love attention! Hey gorg. Hey gorg. Hey gorg. Okay, I’m ready. Let’s crack open a cold one boys. My hands are too pretty to open the can. I need a man to do it for me. Help. Fuck it. (cork pops) Okay, that’s super great. Hey gorg. Hey gorg. If there are any women
still watching this video, I’m really sorry about all this. Unless you’re into that sort of thing, in which case how very dare. I’m a good Presbyterian. And by Presbyterian I do mean pansexual. Hey, how are you? Look the video’s about men so I’m trying to be attractive to men. Am I doing this right? Is this what men like? Trap straps! It is a risky look for a girl like me. When you do a lingerie look you know you’re gonna wind up somewhere on the Frank-N-Furter/Violet
Chachki/Dita von Teese spectrum, oh but you don’t know where exactly. And that is a dangerous game ladies. I have to say though I actually am feeling pretty f*cking empowered right, but um that could be because of the drugs. Look, gentlemen, let’s be rational. No more fooling around, okay? Part one, oh wait. Rational. Axiom one, America’s Next Top Victim I think there is some truth to the idea that we live in a victimhood culture. And I’m not just talking about campus SJWs with their microaggressions. No bitch, this goes
all the way to the top. We have white people whining
about reverse racism. We have the literal 1% complaining about anti-rich prejudice. That must be super f*cking hard for you. We have the heterosexual agenda organizing straight pride parades. You know, flaunting their sexuality in the faces of children who
are trying raise a family and protesting in the street
like a bunch of (beep). And so of course because
there was women’s rights there has to be men’s rights too. I’ve been hearing about men’s rights for my whole adult life, and I’ve always been very skeptical. Because in my experience, online men’s rights activism in practice always looks like this. Women try to do a good thing
to solve a real problem and then a man shows up to
say well what about men? Men also get harassed. Why aren’t you talking about men? And is this man actually
involved in activism to stop harassment against men? Of course he’s fucking not. He doesn’t give a shit. He’s a troll. His contribution to the
conversation begins and ends with what about men? What about them, honey? For this video I decided to actually do some research for once, and the first thing I did was
read the foundational text of the modern men’s rights movement, which is The Myth of Male
Power by Warren Farrell. Actually I listened to the audiobook ’cause let’s be honest, reading is hard. But as I was listening, I admit
I thought it made more sense than I was expecting it to. Basically Farrell says
that second-wave feminists rightly fought against the
traditional gender role that confined women to domestic servitude. But, he argues that the feminist idea that men have all the power in society is actually an illusion because the traditional
gender role for men is just as oppressive. He introduces the idea
of male disposability, basically the idea that
society values female lives more than male lives, which
are seen as expendable in the service of protecting and providing for women and children. And he points to statistics showing that men make up the majority
of military casualties, workplace fatalities, murder
victims, suicides, and so on. So we’re supposed to conclude that even though at
first it looks like men have more power than women, in fact the queens have a
certain kind of privilege in being protected and provided for by the expendable male worker bees. And I guess that kinda makes sense. I feel like I can at least
empathize with the point of view. What I’m saying is, I took the red pill. And I rubbed it on my cliiiiiiit. But some initial objections come to mind. Like, haven’t men been almost all of the kings, presidents,
and CEOs for millennia? Didn’t men make up all these
rules in the first place? I don’t know, boys. Still seems kinda patriarchal to me. But maybe you’ll say that it’s
only at the top of society that men have more power than women. Maybe the average man is also oppressed by this system that
feminists call patriarchy. If that’s what you’re saying I think I basically agree with that. See, what you have to understand about me is I am such a f*cking Libra. Whenever there’s a conflict
my gut reaction is to be like well, maybe everybody’s right. And maybe there’s good
points on both sides and we should all just
listen to each other and rub each others cliiiiiiits. But no, my Scorpio-rising
persona will not allow that. Oh, there will be a champion, there will be blood. So, judges, how do we decide which gender is America’s next top victim? I mean it’s not like you
can just change genders and see how the other half lives. Or can you? (dramatic music) Proposition two, Diary of an Ex-Man. Dear diary, with every
false smile I conceal that on the inside I’m
drowning in darkness! Mom! Get out of my room. You’re ruining my life! Look I’ve never, ever talked
about this on my channel before so this is like a super f*cking
vulnerable moment for me, but I was born a boy. Well, was I ever really a boy? It’s hard to say. Dear diary, growing up I always knew that I was different from other
kids, especially other boys. And it took me so long to
pinpoint what it was, but there was this moment. I must have been what
seven, eight years old? And I was playing in my
parents’ room all by myself, and I saw this pair of my
mom’s shoes lying on the floor and I don’t know what it was. It was like this magnetism
that drew me to them, and I put my little feet in them and walked in front of the mirror and I didn’t really have the words yet to describe how I felt, but basically in that moment I sensed that God had made a mistake and I was destined to be, to be a crossdresser. That is super f*cking coconuts. Anyway then in my 20s my
life completely fell apart and I became a woman. Hey, how are you? I became one of the dolls. My plastic surgeon is an artist. Look, boys, the point I’m
trying to make here is I used to live your lifestyle. I know what people like you get up to and I think it’s disgusting. I gotta say though, since I transitioned, my life has been super f*cking great. Like way better. Now of course a lot of that is not because women
have it better than men, but because, hey gorg, I
am literally transgendered! So before I transitioned
I was dying inside. You know, I was in the wrong body. And now (sighs) it’s like
I finally have the body I was meant to die inside of! But it’s not just that. I do think that, in some ways, since I started presenting as a woman, people actually do treat me better. I mean, they take my
opinions less seriously sure, but that’s probably for the best. Now before using my personal experience as any kind of evidence, I guess I should say a couple caveats. Caveat one is that most
pre-transition trans women are not like other boys and
most of us were not living the business-class male
experience by any means. You know, it’s a lot
of drunk melancholics, tormented sissies,
secretive transvestites, poets, you know, that sort of thing. Caveat two is that my trans experience is not the trans experience, and I do have a lot of other privileges that made things go super
f*cking well for me. Hey, how are you? Don’t you just love it when
someone checks their privilege in a way that’s actually just bragging? You know it’s super important for me to acknowledge that
I’ve been so successful and I’ve come so far in part because I’m white
and I’m skinny and I’m young and I’m blonde and I’m rich and I pass and I’m educated and I’m popular and my plastic surgeon is an artist and my boyfriend is really hot and rich and I come from a pure Aryan bloodline. And part of what makes me so enlightened and so compassionate is that I’m able to
recognize these privileges that I have that just
might not be available to people who are less fortunate. From the bottom of my motherf*cking and my fatherf*cking heart that must be super f*cking hard for you. I can’t even imagine. What I was saying is there are ways that people treat me better now that I’m presenting as a woman. You know, people smile at me more. I feel more taken care of. Men do things for me! Now a lot of women don’t like
men doing things for them. You know, holding doors,
helping with luggage because they feel that it’s
infantalizing or condescending. But not me. I love it, both because I love attention and because I am a recumbent queen who’s too much of a delicate
flower to lift a finger. I do this thing on airplanes
where when it’s time for me to put my carry-on luggage
in the overhead bin, I pretend that my bag is
too heavy for me to lift, and then some man will usually
get up and do it for me, even though I’m taller than most men. It makes me happy! Another good thing about becoming a woman is I integrated more into
female social groups, and I found that they provide
a kind of communal support and overt affection that male social groups
generally just don’t. I find the female social
style suits me better than the male one, which
tends to be more atomized, more individualist, where
affection is always concealed behind this semi-jokey
front of competition. Like think about the way
boys talk to each other when they’re playing video games. A third improvement for
me has to do with the way men and women are treated
differently in public space. When you present female in public you’re more likely to be
treated as a spectacle to be commented upon. People, usually men, will just blurt out their opinions about you, sometimes complimentary,
sometimes insulting, sometimes just f*cking weird. Whereas when you present male in public you’re more likely to be treated either as invisible or as dangerous. Now feminists have traditionally interpreted these differences as men asserting dominance
over women in public space, and they’ve criticized catcalling as being objectifying,
degrading, and misogynistic. And it certainly can
be all of those things. But there’s different kinds of catcalling, and I have different feelings about them. If I’m walking with another woman and a man says, “Ladies,
you look beautiful tonight,” I don’t know, I like that. I think that’s nice. It makes me feel seen. It makes me feel admired. It boosts my confidence. Whereas if I’m walking alone and a drunk starts following
me down the street singing, “Have you seen Polythene Pam? “She’s so good looking,
but she looks like a man!” That I am less enthusiastic about. I mean not that that’s ever happened. I’m completely f*cking unclockable. Hey, how are you? ♪ No one knows what it’s like ♪ ♪ To be a sad tran ♪ I definitely get where
feminists are coming from because street harassment sucks. I’m a lot more afraid
walking alone at night than I used to be, and
there’s a lot more places I just won’t go by myself. But on the other hand, I do now enjoy being able to
walk down the street at night without other people acting afraid of me. I think a lot of feminists
have failed to imagine the ways that being treated as
invisible or dangerous can also kind of suck. In my video on incels I talked about male
invisibility on dating apps and how getting no attention at all can actually be emotionally worse than getting a lot of sh*tty attention. And when it comes to being
treated as dangerous, when I was living as a man sometimes if I was walking at night, a woman on the same block as me would change sides of the street. And I totally get why. Men do scary shit sometimes,
and it’s better to be safe. But it still stung a little bit to be treated as dangerous by default. I think it can actually be harmful, which becomes clearer if we
add race into the equation. There’s ways that white women’s fear can actually be dangerous
in particular to black men. I had an experience with this recently when I was filming my
video “The Apocalypse” and I’d rented a room in a hotel casino. Around midnight I was
carrying some camera equipment up to my room, and I got into the elevator with a group of people
from the casino floor. A couple floors up, everyone
got out of the elevator except for me and a single black man. Well, I mean he was alone, but I don’t know if he was single. That’s not part of the story. And as soon as the door closed he started literally whistling
Row, Row, Row Your Boat, the official melody of
performative innocence. And I realized oh sh*t,
he’s afraid that I’m afraid. And I found that just excruciating. I was like oh God. How do other white women
behave in elevators? Do they like, clutch their purses? (groans) That’s so f*cking embarrassing. Nothing like that had ever happened to me when I was living as a man. It’s not a thing between
black men and white men. It’s a thing between
black men and white women. And so that dynamic was there not just because I’m white and he’s black, but because I’m a woman and he’s a man. And I thought of that incident again when I was listening to
The Myth of Male Power and Farrell says, “Men’s greatest weakness “is their facade of strength, “and women’s greatest strength “is their facade of weakness.” I think there is some truth to the idea that women’s perceived vulnerability can make them powerful, and men’s perceived power
can make them vulnerable. Now I hope you’re taking all
of this with a grain of salt because these are just some
little observations I’ve made based on a handful of anecdotes. And as rational males it’s important that we consider the facts, the stats, and the figures. Did you know that 46% of men are at least 2.8 times
different than 73% of women? Look it up. I haven’t. I guess my super f*cking Libra opinion is that there’s upsides and downsides to male and female experience. I don’t actually think there’s
a single definite answer to the vague and useless question which gender has it worse? I consider myself a feminist because I support reproductive rights and I oppose workplace misogyny and I generally agree
with a lot of the activism that happens under the
heading of feminism. But I also think a lot of men are just having a super f*cking
difficult time right now and that must be super
f*cking hard for them. Hey, how are you? And I don’t think feminists
have an obligation to care about male angst,
but I care about you boys. God I’m such a cool girl. ️ I think the entire mid-Atlantic region is about to freeze over. No, I’m just a super f*cking
empathetic Pisces moon, and I really try to understand other people’s pain because I just find it really, really funny. I’m also really, really sobering up here. The drugs have worn off, and I am suddenly feeling very naked. Like it’s just now occurring to me that this is a highly inappropriate outfit for this occasion. So, I’m gonna go put on a robe, and I’ll meet you back
for the next section. Postulate three, The Man Question. (upbeat music) Hi boys, et cetera, et cetera. Hey, how are you? For the last three years on this channel I have been your Virgil,
leading you through gender hell. Pick-up artists, gender dysphoria, incels, radical feminists, non-binary genders, men’s rights activists. It seems like everybody’s
having gender trouble. So what do we make of that? Well gorg, a very, very
rational male philosopher named Hegel once said that the unfolding of history is a basically rational process, gorg. That means that at any time in history, society is based on
certain principles, like all men are created equal as long as they’re super
f*cking white and rich. And there’s always contradictions
within those principles, which creates tension and
eventually leads to a rupture, like a revolution, where society has to be reorganized according
to new principles. At least, I think he was
saying something like that. It’s pretty hard to make anything out through the fog of his unreadable, hyper-abstract man jabbering. God, I can’t stand that shit or any of the other music-hating volcels of the male philosophical tradition. My point is I think our
society has reached a place where gender as we know it
just isn’t working anymore. Now no one seems to agree
why it isn’t working or how to fix it, but we do all agree that it’s broken. We have mainstream
feminists saying we need to continue advancing the rights of women. We have conservatives saying we need restore the
gender roles of the 1950s. We have an increasing number of people not identifying as either men or women. We have TERFs who think
that the transgenders are the single greatest
threat to civilization. Hey, how are you? And we have men’s rights
activists saying we need a male equivalent to feminism to liberate men from their
oppressive gender role. Now I wanna focus on that last one because in principle I agree. I’ve spent a lot of the last three years covering the manosphere. I know, such a feminine topic. Love that for me. And from all the time I’ve tortured myself wading through these
communities of incels, pick-up artists, men’s
rights slacktivists, intellectual dark web fanboys, and alt-right racists, I’ve noticed that they all have one thing in common, which is that they all recruit from the same massive
pool of sad young men. We all know the archetype. He has trouble relating to women. He has no strong friendship group. He’s not excited about
any long-term goals, and he fills the void
with video games and porn. And just to clarify, I’m
not trying to take away your video games and porn. I’m not telling what
to do with your penis. You can rub one out to
this video for all I care. Just don’t pull a Gamergate on me, okay? (sighs) I live in fear. Look, I like to believe that until the red-pillers
inject their poison, most of these boys are not bad people. I think this all originates in a genuine crisis of male identity. And I think it’s happened in something like the way men’s rights
activists describe. The sacrificial role of men as warriors is no longer widely
glorified or necessary. The traditional
protector/provider role of men is being replaced by a more equal and undefined gender dynamic. And college professors and
activists are telling men that most of our culture’s
aspirational representations of manhood are toxic and bad. But without an attractive
replacement vision of aspirational manhood, average young men can only
imagine their future as what? The beta. The cuck. The nu male. And in a post-LeftTube internet, we’re so used to laughing
at this vocabulary, and to be fair it is very funny, but we forget, especially us grills, that for a lot of men
these words actually do tap into a deep, existential angst. And a lot of leftists go well how can men be so
angsty, especially white men? They’re so privileged. But existential angst is
often a disease of privilege. If you’re actually being
oppressed you have a struggle. You have something to fight for, and therefore a purpose. But for a lot men their lack of purpose puts them in search of a struggle. And that, along with the loneliness and the lack of a positive identity is what makes men
vulnerable to recruitment by the manosphere groups
and by the alt-right. And even worse, it seems
to be a motivating factor for the small but growing
number of young men who decide to pick up a gun and open fire in a shopping center. There were two mass
shootings during the weekend I was writing this video,
resulting in 31 deaths. Both shooters were young white men, and one of them posted about the shooting on an alt-right image board. Now I don’t pretend to fully understand the motives of mass shooters, but I don’t think it’s a coincidence that basically all of them are men. One possible interpretation
of the mass shooting epidemic is that these killers
are trying to resurrect some horrible parody of
ancient masculine glory and therefore to be seen
and recognized as men by unleashing Homeric
violence in a f*cking Walmart. And of course there’s also the racism of the alt-right killers and the wounded sexual
entitlement of the incel killers. But that racism and that
sexual entitlement are learned, and men in the throes
of a masculinity crisis are much more receptive to learning it. So you can try to take down their forums and ban their accounts and
deplatform their events, but as long as this male
identity crisis goes on, I don’t see any end to these problems. Theorem four, What Do? There’s this media narrative that has emerged around me
and around this channel. And by the way, the fact that there’s any kind media
narrative about this channel is super f*cking coconuts. Because let’s be real gorg, I just wanted to pour milk on my face and talk about the mouthfeel. But there’s this media narrative that my role in the discourse is de-radicalizing young alt-right men. And it’s true that if you read the leftist YouTube fan subreddits, I used to be alt-right posts are so common they’re considered cliché. And some of them cite me as an influence in changing their politics, which I love for them and I’m
super f*cking happy about it, but it’s also a lot of responsibility. They’re (Grindr notification) my boys. And I worry about (Grindr
notification) my boys. Because in reality it’s not like they go from far-right extremists
to complacent centrists. No. Most of them go far left. A lot of times they become
communists or anarchists. So I watch them go from far to my right to significantly to my left. It’s not really de-radicalizing
so much as re-radicalizing. And I think it’s
definitely an improvement, but I still worry it’s
not gonna be good enough. I worry about (Grindr
notification) my boys. Because I don’t think
that the left yet has a final solution to the man question. Oh no. That was worded poorly. You know, there’s kind of two options the left has for disillusioned men. The first is the Marxist
promise of economic revolution. We say, well, actually
yes you are oppressed. But you’re oppressed because
of your class, not your gender. So just join the revolution. It’s gonna be super f*cking crazy. We’re gonna overthrow the bourgeoisie, meow meow, smash no voting, and then
things will be better for you. Now, I think that has
a couple limitations. One is that I look at the far left and I see a bunch of people who spend all their
time accusing each other of abusing moderator privileges
in closed Facebook groups. And I’m concerned that might not succeed at ending capitalism. Meow meow Like definitely vote for Bernie Sanders or Elizabeth Warren or whoever, but if you’re investing all of your hopes in a capital R Revolution, I worry that can become
like waiting for Godot or waiting for the rapture. So we do need political change, but I feel like I’m failing (Grindr notification) my boys if I’m somehow giving them the idea that revolution is their only hope. Cause here’s the other thing. Even if we did succeed
at ending capitalism, there would still be gender, and (Grindr notification) my
boys would still need some model of what it is to lead
a good life as a man. Now the other option the left
has for disillusioned men is the feminist tranquilizer. We say look, toxic
masculinity is the reason you don’t have room to
express your feelings, and it’s the reason you
feel lonely and inadequate. So, while feminism tells
women you hate your body and you’re constantly doubting yourself because society did this
to you and needs to change, we kinda just tell men
you’re lonely and suicidal because you’re toxic. Stop it. We tell them that they’re broken without really telling
them how to fix themselves. I think what men need is a
new, positive ideal of manhood, which I don’t think is something that women cannot create for
men, even if they wanted to. And honestly the best
way for that to happen may actually be some
kind of men’s movement. But on the left the whole
idea of a men’s movement is basically taboo because
the men’s movement we all know is basically just a backlash to feminism, and at worst, it’s just
straight-up misogyny. And look boys, I understand
that being lectured about manspreading for most of 2015 was super fucking hard for you and you’re still mad about it, but posting endless outrage p*rn about false r*pe accusations
and paternity fraud isn’t actually gonna make
life any better for you. Because yes, those things are
horrible when they happen, but they’re not systemic
issues that affect most men. I think what would actually
improve life for most men is a positive ideal of
21st century manhood, but that’s not something I can give to you because in case you hadn’t noticed I’m literally a fu*cking woman. I can’t mom you through this one boys. You’re on your own. You have to help each other. So find each other in
the comments section. Meet up on Reddit. Make friends. Clean your room. Leave the house. F*ck each other. I don’t know. It’s worth a try. And failing that, you could always throw in
the towel and become a woman. Worked for me! (upbeat music) – I’m just trying to
give like m’lady energy. – Yeah, it is. It is English. It’s very John Maclean. Very Quentin Crisp, very aristocrat. I’m super f*cking naked right now. That’s crazy. That’s super f*cking crazy. According to traditional gender roles, men are useful for their labor and women are useful for their wombs. Well, I’m a woman without a
womb so I guess I’m useless. But I’m beautifully useless. Ah! I’m a work of art! The problem with our society is we’ve turned men into women. It’s disgusting. As an ally to men, it’s not my place to speak for them or speak over them, but I just want to use my platform to uplift some male voices who might not have as
many subscribers as me. I’m not hypergamous. I don’t need a rich husband. If I may quote Cher, I don’t need a rich man. I am a rich man. – It’s not even much of an insult being called a delusional man. Many great books have been
written by delusional men. So bad. I’m bad. I’m really bad. Okay.


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