Tik Toks I watch to help me become Tik Tok famous


hello, this is my first week in America I
am a little bit confused why there is no maids
but it is okay it is okay with two I am pregnant with my husband’s baby with two
it’s been one year in America what did you get a beat you gotta be ok come here
I want to get ticked okay with Oh come here I want to talk Leah Leah Leah help over so so so wait
you have a soda anybody get soda before you follow it’s
women like me myself to you this is the whisper quiet plus the luxurious
dishwasher just see how quiet eating all right guys
I’m gonna tell my son I wish he was never born would you rather eat a pound of bricks
or a matter baby nothing baby a matter of you know spirit
of this house if you can hear me flick the lights on and off twice
okay communicate with you through the pen and paper take
somebody took something very precious of yours and that’s why you’re still stuck
here spirit don’t worry I will sit all right guys hey sport you playing
with you shark shark ha ha oh oh oh I got your nose look whoa Jesus Christ
fuck buddy calm down it’s just dad this isn’t fucking funny
give me my nose back give me my nose back dad Jimbo I don’t have your nose
it’s just my thumb this isn’t fucking funny dad give me the fucking nose back
don’t do anything rash don’t do anything rash Jimbo said give
me the fuck your nose you’re gonna get it look buddy I’m um here it is I’m
putting your nose back on here you go Oh got your nose back so apparently if you put an egg in water
and then put a little bit of baking soda in it a little squirt of ketchup and
just a spritz of sugar nothing happens that’s it I think you’ve all done it
you finally push me over over hey I made a website for orphans it
doesn’t have a homepage what’s worse than finding a worm in your apple the
holocaust I came into class today with everyone in here and my teacher is
hungover this man’s dead bro everyone gone the roof she’s really good That moment when you
drop a turd into the toilet and then it goes but then the water hits your
asshole and then you got a wet butt hey dude can I yeah so that I’m sitting
there rubbing my ass with my finger dude it was just a joke all right guys I’m
gonna ask my mom if she can take me and Kyle to see spider-man he’s my favorite
superhero ever and Kyle’s my best friend and you are a
bitch we all know nebula the little blue girl
from Avengers so the first thing I recognized when I first saw her was her
skin color not to be racist but she’s blue at first I thought maybe she
doesn’t have enough oxygen in her system but no she’s born that way so if you
take 257 from when nebula first appeared subtracted by Stanley’s age subtracted
by Thanos age 65 count all of tau noses wrinkles and a vitamin by six for all
the Infinity stones and then add that and then minus one because there’s two
nebulas and endgame you get 100 when I was doing all this math I’m like that
100 looks a little bit familiar to me and then I realized who else has blue
skin color frickin Papa Smurf and guess how old he is you guessed at 100 if this
isn’t evidence I don’t know what is hey your lunch
yes I’m so proud of you the bus is here gotta go mom okay honey
have a great day look in the bag they do something it’s more than just a chandelier I had no idea that you were
secretly watching me over there mom can I go in the school trip huh no you can’t
go will there be boys yeah then no sorry
you could be doing drugs you could be drinking I don’t want this for my
daughter no shame on our family know everyone’s going even Chloe come on you
trust Chloe right then why don’t you bloody go live with her parents if Kroy
is so amazing okay why don’t you go and dig mashed potatoes at kroy’s house and
leave the jalebi and the gulab jamun at home you clearly don’t care about me you
clearly don’t get about my feelings so just leave get out of my house go just
stop one day as a black father it feels good I’m about to go to the store to get
something else I’m back from the store and if you thought I wasn’t gonna come
back you’re a part of the problem how about it started off as any other summer day I
was relaxing outside and listening to music
oh what the no honey

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